Breakups are among the most painful transitions that we endure. The pain of losing someone you have loved and still love — someone with whom you shared your heart, your dreams, and your life — can be devastating.
Breakups also activate old wounds from past losses: other breakups, early losses, your parents' divorce, or betrayal from friends. That's why they can be profound opportunities to heal, if we approach them as such
Yet all too often, people remain stuck on their ex and can't seem to move forward. They find themselves caught in a negative spiral of trying to figure out what went wrong, feeling angry at themselves or at their ex, or stuck in a depressed or anxious state. They may also be in a new and healthy relationship, but still ruminating on a past love.
. Do not feel sorry for yourself! Every so-called step back is an opportunity to leap forward. Believe that you can get over this person, because you will.
· Make a list of all the reasons why you deserve to be happy. This will keep you from feeling sorry for yourself. List friends, family, opportunities, general health. When you take stock of how much you have, you'll feel better instantly.
2. Get rid of everything that reminds you of this person pictures, gifts, phone number etc.
· You don't have to destroy things unless the person in question was a negative force in your life. Tuck those things away in a safe place. The truth is that later on, you'll be happy you saved the memories, even if the person wasn't the greatest.
3. Have fun! Go out with friends, go bowling, to a movie, ice skating, or even go on a date. Anything to take your mind off of your ex.
· Some examples of things for fun you could try doing:
· Spend the weekend having an '80s movie marathon. Rent or download as many movies from the '80s (or any other decade) and pop them on with some friends. It doesn't get better than John Cusack and Jamie Lee Curtis.
· Build your own waterslide (or go to a water park). Put a slippery tarp down in your backyard and keep the hose running. Slip and slide down the tarp like a bullet.
4. Don't talk to the same friends that know him/her. It's best to keep your distance from your ex's friends, even if they're good people. The reason is that you want to try to rebuild your life from the ground up, and you don't want to be pulled back into the vortex of your former life.
· If you see your friends, don't avoid them. But don't go out of your way to make plans with them. You want to be civil and respectful, but it's hard to get over your ex when his or her friends are constantly reminding you of them.
· If your ex's friends ask you why you're "avoiding" them, just say something like: "I'm really trying to make some time for myself. While I was with [your ex], I didn't always get to. Now that we're no longer together, I'm making that a priority."
Stay away from alcohol and other stimulants. In the movies, a breakup is usually followed by the movie star reaching for a swig of whiskey. Alcohol and other stimulants won't make your breakup any easier — don't rely on them to get over your ex!