Breakups are among the most painful transitions that we endure. The pain of losing someone you have loved and
still love — someone with whom you shared your heart, your dreams, and your
life — can be devastating.
Breakups also activate old
wounds from past losses: other breakups, early losses, your parents' divorce,
or betrayal from friends. That's why they can be profound opportunities to
heal, if we approach them as such
Yet all too often, people remain stuck on their ex and can't
seem to move forward. They find themselves caught in a negative spiral of
trying to figure out what went wrong, feeling angry at themselves or at their
ex, or stuck in a depressed or anxious state. They may also be in a new and
healthy relationship, but still ruminating on a past love.
. Do not feel sorry
for yourself! Every so-called step back is an opportunity to leap forward.
Believe that you can get over this person, because you will.
·
Make a list of all the reasons why you deserve to be happy. This will
keep you from feeling sorry for yourself. List friends, family, opportunities,
general health. When you take stock of how much you have, you'll feel better
instantly.
2.
Get rid of everything that reminds
you of this person pictures, gifts, phone number etc.
·
You don't have to destroy things unless the person in question was a
negative force in your life. Tuck those things away in a safe place. The truth
is that later on, you'll be happy you saved the memories, even if the person
wasn't the greatest.
3.
Have fun! Go out with friends, go bowling, to a movie, ice
skating, or even go on a date. Anything to take your mind off of your ex.
·
Some examples of things for fun you could try doing:
·
Spend the weekend having an '80s movie marathon. Rent or download as
many movies from the '80s (or any other decade) and pop them on with some
friends. It doesn't get better than John Cusack and Jamie Lee Curtis.
·
Build your own waterslide (or go to a water park). Put a slippery tarp
down in your backyard and keep the hose running. Slip and slide down the tarp like
a bullet.
4.
Don't talk to the same friends
that know him/her. It's best to keep your distance
from your ex's friends, even if they're good people. The reason is that you
want to try to rebuild your life from the ground up, and you don't want to be
pulled back into the vortex of your former life.
·
If you see your friends, don't avoid them. But don't go out of your way
to make plans with them. You want to be civil and respectful, but it's hard to
get over your ex when his or her friends are constantly reminding you of them.
·
If your ex's friends ask you why you're "avoiding" them, just
say something like: "I'm really trying to make some time for myself. While
I was with [your ex], I didn't always get to. Now that we're no longer
together, I'm making that a priority."
Stay
away from alcohol and other stimulants. In
the movies, a breakup is usually followed by the movie star reaching for a swig
of whiskey. Alcohol and other stimulants won't make your breakup any easier —
don't rely on them to get over your ex!
No comments:
Post a Comment